Mediation is simply a guided discussion. It’s a safe place with a neutral person guiding you to what you need, what you feel is most important, what you want from each other and showing you how that is all going to fit together in your new relationship.

If communication is hard, if it used to be ok but now it isn’t or it has broken down altogether mediation is a great way to sit down and get some workable solutions which you both can live with.

You can talk about how the kids are coping and listen to what the kids need from you. You can talk about what you expect and what you prefer. And it’s your chance to outline what you are worried about, what you would like and what you need for better peace of mind.  But, we will also listen to your ex, and any ideas they may have which can get you to a better co-parenting space.

If you keep hitting brick walls, or conversations end up in arguments we can help you find a more productive path forward and work with you on how to better have those conversations in the future.

This negotiation is about finding a way for both of you to look at the whole family problem – whether that’s how much time each of you spends with your kids, where they sleep, how you each parent or how much money each of you needs – and to come up with solutions everyone can live with.

You need to listen as much as you talk but we are here to keep all of that on track. We want you to be heard and we want you to hear.

 

First meetings

If we are going into mediation we first need to meet with each of you separately. This is where we hear you story and talk about whether we think mediation will work for you. We won’t give you any legal advice but we will talk you through how mediation works and what you can expect on the day. And you can tell us what you are most worried about and why.

We will do the same thing with your ex.

These meetings are confidential and we won’t tell either of you what was talked about. But we will challenge both of you – to think about options and creative solutions, to consider different ways of doing things and to stand in the other pair of shoes. If we are talking about your kids they will be at the centre of the discussion.

We need to meet you both but we will make individual appointments with each of you. If you aren’t sure how willing your ex is to participate don’t worry, after we have met with you we will contact your ex directly and invite them to come in for their own appointment.

 

The lead up

We might give you some homework. That might be going to get legal advice, it might be sorting out all your financial details. It might be talking to your kids, an accountant or a therapist.

We will give you some some resources that will help you in the mediation room. Workbooks that help you clarify what you really want to achieve and research on what is appropriate for kids the same age as yours and what has worked for other families. We want you to start planning for the day – what you need to talk about and what you want to cover.

It’s your mediation and you will have to set the agenda. We are going to help you have the conversation but we aren’t going to do it for you.

 

On the day

This is where we all sit down in the same room – you, your ex and your mediator. It might take the morning, it might take all day. It will probably be emotional. But along with finding a solution, our goal is to create a safe space where you can get things off your chest and the jump the hurdles you may have baulked at before.

During the day we will talk to each of you individually and we will take breaks as you need them. You’ve come along to sort things out for the future, we are there to keep you on track and keep you from getting bogged down in the past.

This is the time for you to lay out your best new life and to lay a path for your kids to be healthy, happy and thriving.

 

What’s next

This is our part – we write up any agreements you reach as a mediation agreement or parenting plan’s.

If you need your agreement to be legally binding we bring in our collaborative colleagues to sort that our for you.