Your dirty not-so secret

It’s never been easier to have an affair . . .  and it’s never been harder to keep it secret.

I have lifted those words from the brilliant Esther Perel, sex therapist and author, but I have found them nearly impossible to get out of my head.

We live in a world where we are bombarded by temptation – from food to spending to sex. Choose your poison.

But it’s a world where technology is watching and leaving a footprint.

From the selfie posted from the wrong person’s bedroom with distinctive curtains to an overheard conversation on a train that gets tweeted, goes viral and the offender’s girlfriend has found out by the time her fella turns up at the train station.

A second mobile hidden in a drawer, a laptop you mistakenly thought was password protected.

On the one hand we are encouraged to live our best lives, focus on self-improvement, take “Me Time”, fix yourself first. You’re worth it. It’s normal to want more, Bigger, BETTER!!

But on the other very few really are individual beings – even less want to be. We are part of one big community and we kind of have to help each other out if we are hoping to come out of it happy.

And we have to think about other people. Not just how they impact us but the endless ripples our behaviour and actions have on others.

Of course make sure you are living your best possible life – but make sure too that you live it with respect and care for those around you, whatever path your decisions take you down.

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